As I stated in the previous entry, there is some confusion as to what “type” of paleo one should choose. That’s unsurprising, given that scientists seem to be even more divided on the topic than are the authors who tout the various types. Thus, I feel confident chiming in on the topic although I don’t consider myself necessarily an advocate of a paleolithic diet, though it’s due in large part to the fact that paleotards are as intolerable as evangelical Christians and twice as misinformed. The fact that they’re misinformed is not entirely their fault, however, due to the disparity in information coming from paleo authors, archaeologists, and scientists, however, and I would posit that the disagreements in the field arise out of two fundamental issues:
Given that everyone who I have ever met who claimed to eat paleo was white, the last goddamned thing on Earth they should be eating, save for a banana, is a yam or a sweet potato. It’s far more likely that Cro-Magnon man and paleolithic European humans supplemented their diets with grasses, a couple of root vegetables like turnips and parsnips, and berries, which were at that time tiny, bitter, and about as impossible to duplicate in the modern world as the Valley Temple of Khafre. Paleolithic man has existed in every corner of the world, so it would make much more sense to eat the “foods of your people” and wild vegetation as much as possible if you’d like to eat paleo. Modern berries contain far too much sugar, bananas are basically just badly flavored sticks of sugar, and oranges were hard, inedible fruits in the paleolithic (Texas). I encourage everyone out there to research their ancestral diets, as there seems to be something to eating the way your people did for millennia. One non-profit, Oldways, has won awards for the work they’ve done to this end- they assert that if you eat foods in line with your genetic heritage, you’ll be healthier, stronger, and less prone to chronic or degenerative disease. If you check out their site, you’ll note Northern Europeans and Russians are conspicuously absent from the list, but they detail Mediterranean, Latin American, African, Asian, and Vegetarian Diets and Pyramids.
- Eggplant
- Cabbage
- Artichokes
- Eggplants
- Carrots
- Gourds
- Melon
- Parsnip
- Swiss chard
- Spinach
- Leeks
- Peas
- Turnips
- Cucumber
- Chickpeas
- Celery
- Leeks
- Peas
- Lettuce
- Garlic
- Onions
- Shallots
And while we’re at it– arrowroot is not strict paleo. That crap has been in cultivation for 7,000 years in the Americas, and it requires extensive processing to obtain. That’s not paleo. According to Mark Sisson, it’s primal, but in terms of the strict definition of paleo, it’s not. If you’re going for your ancestral diet, it’s especially not paleo unless you’re from the Caribbean. Nevertheless, Robb Wolff posted a quote from Andrew Badenoch, “Paleo is a logical framework applied to modern humans, not a historical reenactment.” As such, you should probably limit your arrowroot consumption, rather than include it in everything as I’ve seen some paleo chefs do. In the event that you have a hankering for some biscuits, however, ol’ Robb has you covered- check out his recipe for biscuits and gravy here (though I’d throw some actual sausage in there for extra protein).
Similarly, you might have read a piece of trash so pants-crappingly insane it might as well have been co-written by Gary Busey and Nick Nolte on Quartz.com entitled “Scientists confirm the paleo diet is nonsense.
In it, the author who clearly lacks a fact checker suggests that we all eat potatoes (which were considered unfit for human consumption in Europe until around the 17th century) because “cavemen and cavewoman ancestors loved—and needed—carbs as much as we do, even if they gathered them instead of cultivated them” based on the fact that “Examination of 3-million-year-old teeth and the plant-life in the regions where our ancestors lived also signal that they were eating tubers and other starchy vegetables” (Shanker). The problem? Modern humans are only about 200,000 old. The hominid teeth being studied from 3 million years ago were australopithecines, which look like this:
From the above, you should be able to ascertain two things- one, my point about scientists having an agenda has been borne out, because that scientist blatantly lied about his findings. Australopithecines aren’t even in our genus- saying we should eat like them is similar to saying whales should eat like deer, because they both descended from a common ancestor.
Mischievous, and deceitful. Chicanerous and deplorable. Two, the author from the Quartz doesn’t know her ass from a hole in the floor. Oh, and that bit I mentioned about potatoes in Europe?
“THROUGHOUT EUROPE, POTATOES WERE REGARDED WITH SUSPICION, DISTASTE AND FEAR. GENERALLY CONSIDERED TO BE UNFIT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION, THEY WERE USED ONLY AS ANIMAL FODDER AND SUSTENANCE FOR THE STARVING. IN NORTHERN EUROPE, POTATOES WERE PRIMARILY GROWN IN BOTANICAL GARDENS AS AN EXOTIC NOVELTY. EVEN PEASANTS REFUSED TO EAT FROM A PLANT THAT PRODUCED UGLY, MISSHAPEN TUBERS AND THAT HAD COME FROM A HEATHEN CIVILIZATION. SOME FELT THAT THE POTATO PLANT’S RESEMBLANCE TO PLANTS IN THE NIGHTSHADE FAMILY HINTED THAT IT WAS THE CREATION OF WITCHES OR DEVILS” (CHAPMAN).
So, we’re still working toward which paleo diet is right for you, which I will hit up in the next segment of this series. Till then, eat a steak with some parsley on it- that should do you for veggies.
Sources:
Bulit, Jean-Marc. Vegetables in Medieval Europe. Web. 16 Aug 2015. http://www.oldcook.com/en/medieval-vegetables
Chapman, Jeff. The impact of the potato. History Magazine. Web. 16 Aug 2015. http://www.history-magazine.com/potato.html
Knapton, Sarah. Paleo diet should include carbohydrates to be authentic, say scientists. Telegraph. 15 Aug 2015. Web. 16 Aug 2015. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/earth/environment/archaeology/11804055/Paleo-diet-should-include-carbohydrates-to-be-authentic-say-scientists.html
Shanker, Deena. Scientists confirm that the Paleo diet is nonsense. Quartz. 13 Aug 2015. Web. 16 Aug 2015. http://qz.com/479123/scientists-confirm-that-the-paleo-diet-is-nonsense/
Texas oranges history. TexaSweet. Web. 16 Aug 2015. http://www.texasweet.com/texas-grapefruits-and-oranges/the-history-of-texas-oranges/