Chaos and Pain




Juls is a 26-year-old chiropractic student who makes his living by working as a Krav Maga instructor. After studying law and becoming disgusted with both the legal system and his fellow practitioners, he started to read up on treatment methods for athletes. Decided to pursue a bachelor’s. Then a master’s degree in the art of breaking someone’s spine.

Besides kicking people in the nuts for a living, he played in 2 death metal bands. One called, And I Saw the Desolation (RIP), and Impact36. He joined in November and replaced the old singer. Who had crap vocals and is also a vegetarian.

He’s also an avid Warhammer 40k enthusiast, painting miniatures and annoying people at the Games Workshop with his presence.

I became friends with him over the last year while coaching him in preparation for his first meet. In which he absolutely destroyed his opposition and nearly posted an elite total.

Q: So, bro- you just tore the asshole out of Germany’s best at 181 lbs, right? What was the meet and what were your lifts?

A: The meet were the nationals of the WPU, the German arm of the GPU. I competed in the 181lbs weight class. Wanted to do it after googling Powerlifting Deutschland. I was 4 months into Destroy the Opposition and being disgusted by the old records. Which were lower than my numbers then.

The category I competed in was ‘’classic raw’’, meaning without wraps. I consider to be an assisting piece of equipment that defeats the purpose of raw lifting. Sleeves were allowed, but I didn’t use them.

I jacking myself up 2 months prior to the meet. I had an accident in a monolift. Where I squatted 485 for a single. Had my shorts tear and had to shift my weight to the right to re-rack the weight. Knocking my hip out of place. I couldn’t squat heavy and stuck to belt squats and front squats with the occasional lockouts with 793 lbs. My chiropractor fixed me though, which saved me 2 weeks prior to the meet.

Since I was a bit afraid of screwing up, my opener on the deadlift was 22 lbs. Lighter as planned, the squat was 44 lbs. lighter.

I opened my squat with 440lbs, second attempt at 485 lbs., third attempt at 529 lbs. for a PR.

My bench started at 330 lbs. Which had the other competitors crapping their pants since I warmed up with 308lbs for a double. After that I benched an easy 374 lbs. Got carried away, attempting 407lbs for my third attempt, only to fail halfway through.

My deadlift started at 507 lbs.; my second attempt were 551 lbs. which flew up easy. I then decided to pull my gym PR. 600lbs, which weren’t hard at all. Probably due to the adrenaline, Ferox and ammonia. Fourth attempts weren’t possible during that meet due to time constraints. One of the others dropped 496 lbs on his foot during a sumo pull. That was one of the funnier moments.

I totaled 1504 lbs. at my first meet after 9 months of heavy strength training.

Q: Goddamn! Only 9 months of heavy training? Give us a rundown of how you’ve trained over the years.

A: I started with Krav Maga and Escrima 7 years ago. Which I did 6 days a week with a 3h intensive course every 3 weeks on Sunday. After getting thrown around a lot since I was 150lbs, I decided to start weight training in mid 2015. Although I had no goddamned idea what I was doing and no idea how to eat.

The trainers at the gym told me to eat a lot of carbs and do a high repetition machine. Isolation exercise training, no squatting and deadlifting because of injury risks, no overhead pressing. 10-15 rep range on 4 exercises for 3 sets a day and 4 days a week. No progress was made at all, and I dropped weight training for half a year since it was pointless. I restarted to do the same stuff in 2016. This time 5 days a week and trying to squat. Which were probably the worst high bar quarter squats you’ve ever seen. In my defense I didn’t use the wuss pad.

After doing a bit of reading I found Layne Norton’s PHAT program, which I did for 3 months. It had me deadlifting for the first time and squatting regularly, where I figured out how to squat like a normal human. In 2017 I wanted a change since I got fed up with the program and the nutrition part was lacking too, since I was still on the high carb train.

I then found this blog, started reading and I was interested by the notion of doing more, going heavy and killing yourself in the gym. I started training the way it was outlined in this blog and behold, I was making progress, both visually and in the numbers.

It’s not just Juls making crazy progress on the APD and Chaos and Pain- his girlfriend, Gina, has dropped 55lbs over the last 6 months using the APD and training her ass off.

Q: How’d you even find out about Chaos and Pain, anyway?

A: It’s a quite funny thing. Since I was doing the PHAT routine at the time and going to Krav Maga 5 to 6 times a week, some trainer at my gym said I was overtraining. So, I googled ‘’overtraining is bulls**t’’. I ended up on reddit of all places, and someone mentioned someone called Jamie Lewis and Chaos and Pain.

Googling that, I found your blog and started reading, I probably devoured the blog in less than 5 days. I was amused by the fact that you shat on vegetarians, no fap, the latter running, as I learned a few days ago, rampant among younger lifters, runners, and other assorted vermin.

I then found out you guys were an actual supplement company and ordered a Ferox off a German reseller. It blew the Hyde I had out of the water.

Q: Ha! The “assorted vermin” comment has me chuckling. Redditors generally hate me more than Tara Reid hates sobriety. That’s amusing. I’ll have to google the Norton program- I’ve never heard of it. Anyway, what’s your plan going forward? Are you planning on competing again soon? Any fights coming up?

A: I will try to get the 661 lbs. in the deadlift until November, besides that my goal is to become stronger, bigger, and leaner while not screwing myself up in that piece of crap monolift, which I surely won’t use again. We’ll also try to get the band going, we have an album planned for this year, which is going into pre-production in a few weeks. I will also try to put more emphasis on grinding out knots to prevent injury, which I often forget because I am a lazy bastard who prefers to do other stuff at home, and I’d rather shoot myself before I start flopping around on the floor at the gym like some autistic faggot instead of training.

My next competition is the European Championship of the GPU, where I intend to rape the rest of the continent in the 181 lbs. while totaling at least 1565 lbs.

Krav Maga isn’t competitive, so the only fights I will be having are bar fights or whatever happens at hardcore shows.

Q: I effing hate monolifts, too- it’s like trying to start a squat while in the middle of a goddamned earthquake. I’d sooner squat standing on a goddamned Bosu ball, and that is one hell of a packed schedule you’ve got on your hands. Anyway, since you have had such success as a new powerlifter, do you have any advice for a struggling or new powerlifter? Also, what do you recommend for bench, since you managed a 180 kg bench in under a year?

Well, the advice I have is the one that I was missing before, eat a buttload of protein and train your ass off, heavy weights and a lot of volume. Also don’t skimp on conditioning, be it sprints, heavy bag work, sleigh drags, whatever. It helped me tremendously with short rest in between sets.

The realization that the lifts are a movement that vary from person to person and that ‘’ideal form’’ is only possible in a textbook was eye-opening for me.

For the bench press, I did a lot of weighted dips, sitting now at 155lbs for 8 sets of 6, with a minute rest in between, whereas on light days I just do 500 bodyweight dips with 15 secs in between. Also treating the close grip bench press as a push accessory instead of a substitute for the bench press helped me with developing triceps strength, which was lagging since I didn’t press for a long time due to having a crap program.

Q: Conditioning, is key? Interesting- I never do it outside of regular training at a fast pace, but I think that’s an excellent point. Also, excellent point about the value of weighted dips- most people (myself included) tend to forget about them. Alright, time to ask the question that every Redditor and poster is screaming at his laptop. I imagine them just shaking with impotent rage, woozy with exhaustion from the effort of standing and shaking their fist, spittle spraying across the screen as they scream a single word- “STEROIDS!” If you don’t mind, why not go ahead, and tell these goofballs why they should take a big step back and literally make violent and vigorous love with their own faces.

A: I’m on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) due to an injury I suffered while sparring in Krav Maga. Without going into all theory, testicle rupturing details, my cup did not save the day one day. I’ve been on 200mg of testosterone enanthate for the last three years as a result. 

Q: 200mg of test e a week? And people say I run crazy low amounts, haha. I’m sure the collection of incels is still going to have “natty or not” convos about you and claim that you can’t achieve that level of leanness without “eating clen and trenning hard,” but there’s nothing to be done about those useless little nofapping idiots anyway. While we’re at it, and I don’t give a good goddamn that this isn’t germane to the topic at hand behind the establishment of a particular mindset, how about you give us your favorite book, movie, album, and quote?

A: Nonfiction: Bruce Tegner’s Complete Book of Self Defense

Fiction: Unremembered Empire (Warhammer 40k) by Dan Abnett

Movie: Same as you, The Devil’s Rejects

Favorite album: This is a tie. Either Erebos by Hate or Destroy the Opposition by Dying Fetus.

Quote: “He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.”

Q:Well, it’s time to wrap this up, so how about you tell everyone about your exciting evening the other day, hahaha. That’s an awesome story.

A: Since I have to drive a lot due to my studies, I decided to train at a gym on the way home, which entirely unlit. So I had to walk a narrow path back to my car, in the snow, while wearing a heavy winter jacket which obscured anybody details. Considering I couldn’t see much, I pushed the button on my car key to know where I had to go. After arriving to my car, I put my bag on the ground and had someone grab my ass.

Thinking that someone tries to steal my wallet, I turned around, hitting whoever in the nose with my right palm and kneeing that person in the stomach and face, only to see someone else run or rather stumble away in the snow. Not bothering to run after the guy I watched the dude lying on the ground and called the police. They took the guy in, asked me around 3 times for a description of the other guy, which I couldn’t give since I didn’t see a damn thing, and told them they should ask the guy they picked off the floor for a description of his buddy. At least they didn’t tell me to accompany them.

The two chuckleheads must have thought I was one of the bigger chicks trainings at that particular gym, since it didn’t play out like a robbery, but more like an attempted rape/groping. According to the police they must have been watching the place, since in the evening, the place is full of women. The cops told me I’ll hear from them, but the incident is a few weeks ago and I didn’t hear anything, same thing as with my bike tires that were stolen 2 years back. I know that I’ll avoid that particular place in the future, nonconsensual anal sex isn’t on my to-do list in the near future.

Hahahahaha. Awesome. Well, there you have it- the man himself explaining how he totaled 1504lbs in his first powerlifting meet. For those of you who have been following the resurrected Chaos and Pain podcast, Juls is the one who recorded our new intro. Nothing like having the physique to match your brutal vocals.

Coming up, I’ve got a baddest man in history, the second part of my long-abandoned training for the apocalypse series, another article about my current methods, and a stewroids article. 

Go be epic.

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