Update:  As a note this was written at a time when we were headed into the now world ending pandemic known as the Coronavirus or COVID-19 versus where we are now which is utter and literal full-blown quarantine for most individuals.  However, the notes in this article should be used hence forth as gospel for hygiene and cleanliness in all public settings, extraordinarily present in the gym.  Not only should we hold ourselves to these standards we should also start holding individuals around oneself to these standards as well.  Now to dive right into the articles like a fatty on a cupcake.

As everyone can plainly see the world is burning to the ground around what many can call the greatest propaganda scheme to sell toilet paper that has ever been perpetrated on the public in a single lifetime.  The utter stupidity on display in the general American population and the world for the most part is marvelously magnificent, on opposite day.  I could theorize for days about what in the world people are doing with all this toilet paper, are they wiping their cheeks or are they making literal tee pee fort that will shield them from an air born virus, such as a giant M85 gas mask. 

Maybe I am onto something, maybe just maybe people are using the toilet paper for some type of filtration system, probably patent pending by now because of its prodigious yet grotesque structure.  However, that is enough rambling on about the masteries case of the toilet paper sales.  The main issue at hand here is your gains and how to not die from the beer virus (coronavirus aka COVID-19).

So, let’s just start with hygiene and why people have decided that this is major league important suddenly, when in fact, even in the face of all of man’s history, improper hygiene has probably been one of the single biggest killers of the world populist behind Genghis Khan.  So as with anything, half of one survival depends on the steps you take, and starting with the most basic of steps, wash your dam hands you can improve your chances of survival and the people arounds you chance of survival as well.  In this time of the existential crisis of the beer virus one of the single best, most uncomplicated ways of survival are to just wash your hands, that simple.  

You are probably wondering to yourself, how in the world do you even wash your own hands, well it’s simple and contains three fundamental steps, water, soap, and water again.  Also note that one critical item in this process is the timing of the hand washing.  According to the CDC, they recommend washing your hands before and after entering the gym.  This would seem to check out on the BS meters as an individual could have said beer virus or anything really on their fingers resulting in contamination of said gym.  The CDC also recommends washing your hands with a “soap” and then lathering up for around 20 seconds.  This seems straight forward and doesn’t take much practice to master.

Now that we have determined that washing your hands is probably #1 on ways to not die a horrible lung destroying virus death let’s review some other awesome ways to no die and improve your overall hygiene.  As with washing your hands it is almost moronic to think of the practice of bathing “regularly” (this word is extremely important as bathing once a year means you are part of the problem and should probably be eliminated) as being an issue.  Your body sheds dead skin cells like a fat kid eats Cheetos and thus needs to be cleaned regularly to remove these skin cells. 

If this process in not maintained, then there will be a reinforcement of the army of the dead skins cells which over time become dangerous and could cause all kinds of awesome illnesses that will shortly your life span.  If you are bored, you can look up all the horrible ways poor hygiene can kill you.  Another problem area for people is the lack of tooth brushing that is going on and why, just why. 

I am personally not sure how people go through life and do not floss and/or brush their teeth as nobody wants to make out with a trash can full of sewage, because that is effectively what you are if you do not brush your teeth.  The practice of tooth brushing will minimize the number of bacteria in a person’s mouth, which you guessed it, will reduce the rate at which they get health related issues from the mouth.  

So, as with every major event in life we learn that simplicity generally makes things a lot easier or as I like to call it the KISS method, keep it simple stupid.  Practicing and understanding basic hygiene can save your life without you even having to do anything extraordinary.  More importantly it will keep you from accidentally killing anybody around you with your disguising germ filled walking corpse of a body.  Do us all a dam favor and wash your dam hands!

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