Nice Guys Always Finish Last, and No One Remembers Their Goddamned Names
“A man might be thought wealthy if someone were to draw the story of his deeds, that they may be remembered.”
The adage “nice guys finish last” is as trite as it is true, misunderstood as it is misapplied. It is invariably used by redpills to decry the fact that chicks go for good looking assholes/ rich assholes/ insert whatever they-lack-and-add-the-word-assholes, and by the media to decry another completely misunderstood term, “toxic masculinity.” In spite of how insufferably hackneyed the aphorism is, it seems to have persisted simply because it’s true- nice guys almost always finish dead last, and no one remembers their names.
I’m delivering this news as a slap in the face to people who support Athlean X, who think that mollycoddling noobs in the gym is a worthwhile pursuit, and who think like the posters on various bodybuilding forums, which I constantly use for pics of bodybuilders those goofs present for eye hustling in a completely “no homo” way. These types always hold aloft some person in a discussion about who is the best bodybuilder with such-and-such bodypart or best physique under whatever conditions as the best because he is a “family man,” a “selfless individual,” “down to Earth,” or some other ridiculous suburban metric having nothing whatsoever to do with being the best. I assume this is to simultaneously placate their need for acceptance, a justification of their drab suburban lifestyle, and their sadly closeted homosexual tendencies, but that is speculation based on a surface impression since I’ve never actually conversed with one of these goddamned nitwits.
The word “nice” is a useless metric, like “compassionate.” They are terms fearful people use to describe themselves in order to endear themselves to others of their kind- taken in and of themselves they’re meaningless utterances. What is “nice” to one person often isn’t to another, and the term “compassion”is overused to the point that it is as hollow and meaningless as “communist” or “Nazi” these days. Not that the concepts themselves aren’t laudable- it’s just that the people who tend to self describe themselves as such are bullshit artists afraid of their own shadows and desperate for the acceptance of people they deem harmless. Once they’ve all banded together in a herd, they all continually push inward for safety and security, just like any other herd animal, hoping that the bulk of the herd will shield them from the predators lurking all around.
“You’ve got nothing but a twisted understanding
Of what it takes to follow your heart
You’re just an actor playing a part.” – Reign Supreme
It’s also important to note that nice and compassionate do not equate to “just” or “noble”- they’re smoke screen to allow them to act in a craven manner while exploiting the people around them, all the while appearing to conform to the herd’s much vaunted and ultimately ignored “moral” code. That’s why you’ve got the #fitfam crowd running around stealing from each other, selling trash to one another, and generally exploiting the stupidity of noobs for their own personal gain, while “evil” people like myself break their asses inside out for no pay to provide content that will actually turn the tide of suck back on the assholes who are drowning us in the goddamned sewage of a gym culture they’ve created.
Before you get the wrong idea, this is no manosphere/redpill/incel bullshit- I’m not bemoaning the state of things, nor am I suggesting we all go out and get MAGA hats and rock popped collars and beat up stoned hippies in an effort to bring Trump’s little mushroom penis to a semi-erect state. This is just a reminder that being a “nice” or “family oriented” person doesn’t seem to avail itself to much in the way of strength goals, or success in any regard. Just off the top of my head, I cannot name a single “nice, family guy” who set the world on fire in the strength game. Instead, we have guys like the baddest mofos:
Norbert Schmansky– flaming dickhead who raged against the entirety of the US for not supporting him in his quest to snag us an Olympic gold and went to grave hating the entire human race.
Eugen Sandow– male prostitute, champion bodybuilder, and all around slut.
Arthur Saxon– one of the greatest golden era strongmen, died drunk in a gutter
Andrey Drachov– Olympic weightlifting champion beaten to death in a park in some kind of bizarre Russian deathmatch to determine whether powerlifting or mma is the superior sport.
Vasily Alekseyev– Oly legend who was always drunk and terrorizing his teammates.
Arnold– banged everything that moved, was a dick to fellow competitors, and had an illegitimate kid.
Lou Ferrigno– just about the most unlikable human being ever.
Steve Michalik– champion bodybuilder and utter psychopath who took so many performance enhancing drugs he and his training partners thought they were literally invincible, leading to one of his training partners getting flattened by a truck when he tried to stop it by standing in its path
Pat Neve– champion bodybuilder and world record holding powerlifter who was intolerable when competing.
Pete Grymkowski– Michalik-level psychopathic bodybuilder who allegedly took 10 grams of gear a day and trained up to 4 hours a day, six days a week. The dude was so dedicated that he slept under the Santa Monica Pier and lived off of day old burgers from McDonald’s so he could afford all of his gear. Family man, he was not, but he achieved his goal of winning the Mr. America.
Winners put winning above all else, and let nothing stand in their goddamned way. Is that conducive to a balanced, healthy life? Hell no, but no one comes to this site for that happy horseshit. You want to win? Put yourself first, second, third, fourth and fifth, then let the rest sort itself out. Before I go off on a side rant, I’ll put a pin in this for my next article, which will be about Pete Grymkowski.
“These two experiences taught me several lessons. Lesson that I have never forgotten. I did not want to learn these lessons but I found out that it isn’t what one wants in this world that one gets. Force and might makes right. Perhaps things shouldn’t be that way but that’s the way they are. I learned to look with suspicion and hatred on everybody. As the years went on that idea persisted in my mind above all others. I figured that if I was strong enough and clever enough to impose my will on others, I was right. I still believe that to this day. ” – Carl Panzram
I mean seriously, who do you remember? Stryper or Motley Crue? Yakov Smirnov or Andrew Dice Clay? The latter two were, hilariously, roommates at one point. And since those two comparisons likely flew right past half of you, Daniel Tosh or Gabriel Iglesias? Fever 333 or Attila? Alright, that last one wasn’t entirely fair because for the most part, Attila sucks, but I’m using About That Life era Attila for the purposes of comparison. The point is, being infamous takes you much further in the eyes of history than being a nice, church-going person who is a responsible parent, never gets a parking ticket, and pays their taxes.
Before you run off punching little old ladies and shit, there is a vast gulf between being an ornery dickhead and committing felonies. This article isn’t about just being a shitbird for the sake of being a shitbird- it’s about the fact that all of the fake, “play nice”, #fitspo #fitfam #motivation, claptrap is utter tripe. Not only is it spurious in intent and in execution, but it’s counterproductive. People with high testosterone are literally incapable of that shit unless they’re complete (rather than just borderline like myself) sociopaths who lie with every breath they take. They don’t go along to get along- they biochemically cannot.
“Life is war.” – Plautus
“Mercy and weakness are the same thing in war, and there’s no prize for nice behavior.” – Joe Abercrombie
People with elevated plasma testosterone levels are prone to hypomania (a word that aptly describes me- completely disinhibited and displaying constant elevated energy levels), compulsive, and antisocial (Tajima-Pozo). This is especially common in women, as they show really high scores on tests for self-direction- they’re about as disinclined toward singing kumbayah as a Blood Angel in the midst of the Black Rage (Green).
Men and women with high test levels are also prone to the type of wild-eyed risk taking that most people would associate with skydiving in Sudan or a condom-free tour of whorehouses in Bangkok (Tajima-Pozo), have much higher verbal fluidity than normies (O’Connor), and have better memory, visuospatial performance, and visual memory than the low T assgoblins you see proliferating all over the interwebs bleating about the decline of Western masculinity (Moffat). In short, they’re likely going to be too smart, in addition to be too anti-social, to play nicey-nicey with the dipshits of the world. Throw on top of that the hypercompetitiveness of people with high T, and the fact, that win or lose, their T levels rise post contest due to their desire to compete and win (Zilioli), and you’re going to be left wondering why everyone is running around in pastel colored athleisure shit screeching about inclusivity and who inspires who. If anything, there should be a very stark divide in the physical culture community between the leotard-clad fatties in the recreational lifting community and the real lifters. Instead, you’ve got people who truly don’t give a damn about strength sports lifting just to make a quick buck, pandering to the slobs and making money from normies by pretending to be something they’re not.
Ah, but isn’t that what I’ve been claiming all along? That nice guys finish last and that people with high T are dicks? Well, the un-enhanced among you might be surprised to discover that while testosterone might not make you act like Mister Goddamned Rogers, it does make you more ethical. The higher your test levels, it seems, the lower your trust but the higher your generosity. It can make you more aggressive, but at the same time it makes you far more trustworthy and honor bound (Boksem). This bears out from a historical perspective as well- palace eunuchs were among the most scheming, conniving, evil sonsabitches in the medieval and ancient world, while the warriors lived by honor codes that generally transcended morality. Which, then, puts us in a bit of a pickle- what in the hell is going on in the fitness world?
What is happening is that the strength world is beset on all sides by parasites and leeches. Not predators, as they seem to think- just snake oil salesmen and shills who are willing to say anything and do anything to make a buck. They care nothing for the culture they’re destroying, because they simply see the culture as a tool to be used to separate the posers in our community from their money. Would that it didn’t diminish our community as a whole with the inclusion of people who have no business in it, but have simply bought into it by purchasing their own bars, $250 SBD belts (whatever the hell they are), and Nike Romalos. They’re no more lifters than I am a goddamned martian, yet they believe they are because they’ve bought and paid for the image they want, and are then assured by the people posing as real lifters in social media that they are. Because “famous” people are compassionate and nice to the noobs who want an image and nothing more.
“You can’t slit the throat of everyone whose character it would improve.” – Al Swearengen
The entire goddamned thing is disgusting. If people truly want to be better, they will be better, no matter what. All of the hand holding in the world won’t put a spine in someone’s back, and all of the inner child-stroking on the planet isn’t going to turn a lazy piece of shit into Dmitri Klokov. In fact, I’ll go as far as to say that the entire Fitfam bullshit is just window dressing for a bunch of pussies to rip each other off and feel good about it. Those people are trash, their movement is trash, their lifts are trash, and they have about as much business in our gyms as diddlers have in a goddamned kindergarten. Everybody needs to stop pretending they’re something they’re not- stop playing the nice guy or girl and sharpen your teeth. We’re apex predators, not lamprey eels like the poser Instagram crowd, or sheep like the people who follow them.
Get out there and set it the hell off.
There’s no better way to push these pussies into obscurity than to bury them in the stories of our deeds so they die in anonymity.
“I think that it is high time that you all start looking at yourselves, and judging the lie that you live in.” – Charles Manson
Boksem MA, Mehta PH, Van den Bergh B, van Son V, Trautmann ST, Roelofs K, Smidts A, Sanfey AG. Testosterone inhibits trust but promotes reciprocity. Psychol Sci. 2013 Nov 1;24(11):2306-14.
Green, Chris and Kevin Rawlinson. Ruthless women have extra testosterone, scientists show. Independent. 25 Aug 2009. Web. 13 Apr 2019. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/ruthless-women-have-extra-testosterone-scientists-show-1776769.html
Mazur A, Booth A. Testosterone and dominance in men. Behav Brain Sci. 1998 Jun;21(3):353-63.
Moffat SD, Zonderman AB, Metter EJ, Blackman MR, Harman SM, Resnick SM. Longitudinal assessment of serum free testosterone concentration predicts memory performance and cognitive status in elderly men. J Clin Endocrinol Metab. 2002 Nov;87(11):5001-7.
O’Connor DB, Archer J, Hair WM, Wu FC. Activational effects of testosterone on cognitive function in men. Neuropsychologia. 2001;39(13):1385-94.
Tajima-Pozo K, Camila Bayón C, Díaz-Marsá M, Carrasco JL. Correlation Between Personality Traits and Testosterone Concentrations in Healthy Population. Indian J Psychol Med. 2015 Jul-Sep; 37(3): 317–321.
Zilioli S, Watson NV. Testosterone across successive competitions: evidence for a ‘winner effect’ in humans? Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2014 Sep;47:1-9.